Friday, November 24, 2006

Worst Singles of 2006 Part 2

The Red Hot Chili Peppers - Tell Me Baby

Please, please stop this. Personally, I've never really got the appeal of this band. Four albums of terrible slap bass infused punk funk with 14 year old poetry for vocals. Then one half decent break through album (Blood Sugar Sex Magic) follwed by a never ending recycling of the same formula. And people still buy their singles, despite the fact that they already own the same record mascarding order a different name. Oh, and you guys are old too. Why is it that people rightly critise the Rolling Stones for not knowing when to give it a rest, but somehow still feel that this band is relevant? I think the combined age of t'Peppers is 400. Or there abouts.

But they are all amazing musicians, I here you cry. Er... no they're not. The drummer is middling at best, the guitarist has given up writing riffs about three albums ago and is simply reusing the ones he already has. And the bass.... Believe it or not, Flea used to be in seminal hardcore band Fear. Y'know, hardcore, that genre of music about trimming all the unnecessary fat and playing as hard and fast as possible. Nowhere, in any capacity, is slap bass part of this. Level 42 and Jamiroqui use slap bass and nobody who owns a pair of ears, wants to listen to them.

And then there is the front man. Can't sing very well? Don't worry about it, do some rapping instead. Oh hang on, you're not much got at that either. Erm.... Okay, try fitting as many words as possible into each line. Doesn't sound very good? Wouldn't let it bother you. You'll still sell millions of records. Oh, and whilst you're at it, make sure the lyrics make no sense and are just a loose collections of vaguely rhyming words strung together. It'll make you sound enigmatic

Is this single worse than other Chili Peppers ones? I'm not sure. I'm not convinced it isn't other Chili Peppers ones. And it gets player to death by the supposed 'rock' TV stations, so it's had even more chance to get on my nerves. They should do that one about roller coasters again. At least they didn't write that

Thank god Jane's Addiction never ended up sounding like this

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